They say sequels can never live up to the original production. Well, they are wrong. At least when it comes to the Hummer BJ machine. Hummer 2.0 is a definite upgrade compared to its predecessor. If you want to know just which features make it so great, I guess you’ll have to read my Hummer 2.0 BJ machine review. Oh, such a hardship, right?
- Autoblow A.I.+
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Hummer 2.0 – a Machine That Will Blow Your Mind (and Your Load)
When I did the original Hummer review, I mentioned that the machine was a “technological miracle brought to us by the gods of sex.” Well, hear ye, hear ye, we’ve been blessed by the gods once again!
The 2.0 bad boy is an advanced blowjob machine that will leave you feeling completely empty and satisfied. With BJ machines, I often get the feeling that something is missing. Alternatively, sometimes they simply don’t feel like the real thing. Of course, not much can replace the warm, wet mouth of your partner that swallows your lap rocket whole and sucks on it as if there’s no tomorrow.
But, boy, some things come pretty close!
The Hummer 2.0 BJ machine has everything you might need to achieve the most mind-blowing orgasm of your life (and some things you didn’t even know you needed). It sucks your dick like a pro, and it even has a vibrating feature that enhances the entire experience and gives you that little push you needed to plunge yourself over the edge.
But are the vibrations the only thing that makes this machine special? Hell no. Let’s move on with the Hummer 2.0 BJ machine review, and you’ll see what I mean.
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Hummer 2.0 BJ Machine Design
Let’s get one thing straight – Hummer 2.0 is enormous. It’s a big machine that comes in an even bigger box that I had to haul across my porch while trying not to hop from excitement too much. The 12-pound box (I told you it was heavy!) holds lots of goodies that you’ll see as soon as you dive in.
The packaging is sleek and discreet. It’s everything you want our packaged blowjob machine to be. Within the package, you’ll find:
- One large pump unit
- An outer silicone sleeve
- An inner TPE sleeve
- The remote
- One USB cable
- Two hoses
- One hose connector
Overall, the entire machine looks sleeker and more polished than its predecessor. It comes in elegant black, and the pump unit is more rounded than the OG Hummer one. I wasn’t really a fan of the original Hummer design, given that the machine is giant and it looks like a torture machine. However, as some of you know, I quickly became a great fan. Therefore, although similar looking, the new and improved 2.0 version didn’t really get the same reaction from me. I quite like it. Perhaps I got desensitized or something.
The Specs
What’s a Hummer 2.0 BJ machine review without a detailed review of specs? Well, I guess incomplete. So, let’s see what this baby is packing.
I already mentioned the entire machine is large. However, you don’t really care how big the pump unit is, do you? It’s all about that sleeve, baby!
The inner sleeve has an insertable length of 6.5 inches. That’s more than enough for those of us with average or slightly above-average yogurt slingers. However, if you’re a bit on the bigger side, your lap rocket won’t be able to fit in all its might into the Hummer 2.0. What’s more, if you’re also on the girthier side, the fit will be super tight (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing).
The Main Features of the Hummer 2.0 BJ Machine
From a technical standpoint, Hummer 2.0’s best feature is the fact that it’s a fully automated, plug-in machine. You won’t run out of batteries in the middle of the best experience of your life.
However, if we’re speaking strictly in terms of pleasure, the Hummer 2.0’s most attractive feature is the double whammy of sucking and vibrating. I mean, if you think about it, what’s been missing from the whole BJ experience? A bit of vibration, of course.
Hummer 2.0 has five speeds and five intensities. There’s a vast difference between these five, especially given that the maximum speed is a whopping 180 suction impulses per minute. Now, if just thinking about that doesn’t get you all riled up, I’m not sure you really enjoy blowjobs. No, I’m just kidding. The maximum speed is quite intense, but it’s something to work towards (if you’re more on the sensitive side).
Overall there are eight different sucking patterns that you can pick from that alternate the suction and speed in a seemingly random way, making the entire ordeal seem like a real-life blowjob. You can opt for a soft, slow BJ or for a fast and brutal one. The choice is yours, but the most important thing is that you have it. Some machines don’t have such a broad selection of different patterns, speeds, and intensities, so Hummer 2.0 stands out.
The Full Hands-Free Experience
As you can see, given that there’s a remote control included in the box. Hummer 2.0 is a hands-free machine. I absolutely love hands-free devices because they add to the “holy hell, I’m getting a blowjob” feeling.
The outer silicone sleeve is sturdy enough to stand on its own, so the Hummer 2.0 really does provide a hands-free experience (you don’t have to hold it or make sure it doesn’t lean one way along with your schlong). It also glows in the dark, just like the OG Hummer. I’m still not sure this was a necessary feature, but, hey, it doesn’t take away from the experience, and some people seem to like it.
The new outer sleeve also has a little window that lets you see your rocket man getting sucked in and out, which is an excellent feature for those of us with a mile-wide voyeurism streak.
The Biggest Improvement
The inner TPE sleeve is one of the bigger changes that VeDO introduced, given that it has a different texture. Well, to be more precise, the fact it has any texture at all is a considerable improvement compared to the OG Hummer. Some of you might remember that the previous sleeve was super smooth without any ridges or bumps. Well, that’s changed!
The 2.0 sleeve has a textured cavity or something the company calls “a pleasure ring.” Although it looks nothing like the real mouth, it simulates the feeling of getting a blowjob quite well.
The texture is made out of concentric circles of soft and supple TPE “teeth” (not the bad kind, don’t worry) that will stroke you while the machine simulates sucking. What’s more, given that Hummer 2.0 also vibrates, the ridges enhance the vibrations and make them so intense, I’m pretty sure your next reincarnation will still feel them! The sleeve has a button on the outside that allows you to easily control both the sucking and the vibrating features, which is always appreciated. After all, it’s not like you’ll have a lot of mental energy to go over complicated controls while you’re getting your brains sucked via your sexcalibur.
Another great feature is that the sleeve is detachable, so you can use it as a stroker if you don’t want to go through the whole ordeal of plugging the machine in and getting it started. It’s great for a quick wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am solo session.
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How to Play With Your Hummer 2.0 BJ Machine
Now comes the best part of my Hummer 2.0 BJ machine review – the how-to guide!
Lube, Lube, Lube
First of all, you need to know that you’ll need plenty of lube in order to actually use this male masturbator. You might think that coating your one-eyed monster in some lube is enough, but, sadly, it isn’t. The manual that comes with the machine recommends that you put no less than 15ml (0.5oz) of lube in the sleeve. Yours truly recommends that you put more and also coat your heat-seeking moisture missile liberally.
Think of it this way – when someone is giving you head in real life, they salivate throughout the entire process. Therefore, your dick is always nice and wet. Make sure you use enough lube to simulate that exact thing.
Next, make sure to get your soldier at full attention. Hummer 2.0 isn’t something that you can use while you’re flaccid or half-hard. Push your cum gun into the toy, and then set the toy up.
Now, you might think that setting the toy up beforehand might be better since you can just lay back and enjoy getting your dick sucked off. However, if you do that, the toy’s inner chamber will be sealed because the connector that stops the lube and other stuff from getting into the pump seals the pressure. This pressure will work against you while you’re trying to push your giggle stick inside. Not only is this frustrating, but it also doesn’t feel great. Thus, the setup should come later.
The Set-Up
Luckily, the set-up is relatively easy. After you’ve applied lube and made sure your dong is resting comfortably within the inner sleeve of the toy, all you have to do is plug the machine into the wall and connect the hose to the outer sleeve and the pump unit.
After that, you can power it up and pick the pattern, speed, and intensity that works best for you.
Playtime!
I recommend that you try out everything Hummer 2.0 has to offer. You’ll quickly find which particular combo of patterns and speeds works best for you. That’s what I did!
So, start off slowly, with low intensity, and gradually work your way up. Then, when the time is right, push the vibration button and get ready to meet whatever deity you believe (or don’t believe) in. The vibrating bullet that’s built into the sleeve is quite powerful. Thanks to the pleasure ring within the inner sleeve, your dick will feel as if it’s being licked and sucked by thousands of little skilled tongues. Nice, no?
And After Playtime Comes the Dreaded Cleanup
Of course, as with any other toy, after your life has been sucked out of you and you feel like you’re the king of the world, you’ll have to do the cleanup. Luckily, Hummer 2.0 is fairly easy to clean.
The outer sleeve and the pump unit aren’t in close contact with lube or bodily fluids, which means you’ll only have to wipe them down from time to time to make sure there isn’t any dust or dirt on them.
The inner sleeve is where the party is at, which means it’s also the one you’ll need to thoroughly clean. You won’t have any trouble removing the sleeve, and after it’s out, all you have to do is use some hot water and soap to get it clean. You can clean it with your fingers to make sure there are no nasty leftovers in the ridges of the pleasure ring, or you can just use the power of water pressure to simplify the process even more.
As always, make sure the sleeve is completely dry before you put it back into the outer sleeve and pack it away.
When the Hummer Gets Hummin’ (You Better Warn Your Household)
Of course, I couldn’t write a thorough Hummer 2.0 BJ machine review without mentioning everything that it’s lacking. Given that it’s a pricey machine, it doesn’t have many drawbacks, but, as always, it’s not perfect.
First of all, it’s super noisy. There’s nothing stealthy about Hummer 2.0. It’s huge, noticeable, and it makes as much noise as a sex toy equivalent of a power tool. Therefore, it’s not something that you can use without people noticing.
Furthermore, for such a pricy male sex toy, it’s kind of disappointing to see that the inner sleeve is TPE. Sure, it’s softer and more supple than silicone, but it’s not as body-safe.
Finally, you poor schmucks who are packing monsters in your trousers will find the Hummer 2.0 more than a bit tight. The sleeve is stretchy and has plenty of room for an above-average penis. However, let’s say you’re packing a 12-incher. Let’s also assume you want something that will swallow you to the hilt. In that case, Hummer 2.0 will slightly disappoint you. But then again, let’s be completely honest. If you’re a 12-inchers, you’re not really stuffing your beaver basher all the way to your short and curlies anywhere, are you now? So, is this really a design flaw or a not-so-hard problem you have to live with?
A Few Parting Words
As you can see from my Hummer 2.0 BJ machine review, I am absolutely in love with it! It’s a huge improvement from the OG Hummer. The company really listened to the customer feedback and made significant changes that enhance the simulated BJ experience. Overall, the Hummer 2.0 will leave you with shaky legs and a new outlook on life (and blowjobs)!
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Product Specs:
| 🏷️ Name: | ⭕ Hummer 2.0 |
|---|---|
| 📁 Type: | ⭕ Blowjob Machine |
| ⚙️ Features: | ⭕ 180 Suction Impulses Per Minute |
| 🛠️ Materials: | ⭕ TPE |
| 📅 Last updated: | ⭕ April 30, 2024 |
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