The modern world is one of increasing multiculturalism – many of the traditional obstacles that once kept lovers apart continue to break down. Whereas years ago, most people only nurtured relationships with members of their own faith, many are now willing to date and marry other religious practitioners without even proposing the possibility of conversion. Interfaith relationships can certainly work out well, but they do present a unique set of challenges.
If you and your partner have differing religious beliefs, make sure to practice the following:
Consistent Communication
There’s a reason marriage counselors always impart couples with the mantra, “talk about it”: it works! Communication is always important, but it’s particularly crucial for dealing with religious differences. From the very start of your relationship, you and your partner must discuss your beliefs (or lack thereof), how seriously you take them, and what compromises you are willing to make. Every religion has unique viewpoints on sex, birth control, divorce, raising children, and a myriad of other issues that will directly affect your relationship. It’s possible to work through differences on these topics, but only if you and your partner are truly committed to one another, and entirely honest from the very start.
The need for communication never ends, and if at any point your partner does something that makes you uncomfortable because it challenges your religious beliefs, bring it up politely but firmly.
Never let discomfort fester in your relationship, especially over sensitive issues relating to faith.
Don’t think of your religious differences as obstructions; treat them as opportunities to learn something new! By studying your partner’s religion in detail, you’ll not only better understand his or her concerns and beliefs – it will also send the message that you respect your partner’s background, even if you don’t agree with every associated belief and practice.
Once you’ve learned all you can, consider attending a religious service with your partner and ask more questions afterwards. Showing a deep appreciation for his or her culture will do wonders for your relationship and your ability to compromise as a couple.
If your partner is not religious, and you are, try to learn as much as you can about the interests and concerns of the secular community. Websites like infidels.org and secular.org provide a good summary of what atheists, agnostics, and other non-believers believe and care about the most.
Have Family Foresight
When introducing your new significant other to your parents and siblings, the last thing you want is to start a family feud. If you think your relatives will object to your partner’s beliefs, talk to them privately at the next available opportunity. Explain to them that you are serious about your relationship, that you have no desire to change your partner’s beliefs, and that you would appreciate their support. For religious families, this is never an easy conversation to have – but the earlier and more efficiently you communicate with your family, the easier it will be to resolve problems in the future.
When interacting with your partner’s family, be open about your faith (or lack thereof), answering any questions in a generous and non-judgmental way. Avoid getting into debates, as they can become heated quickly, leaving a bad impression on both sides. Instead, try to turn disagreements into conversations, inviting your partner’s family to explain, rather than defend, their beliefs.
