Someone recently asked me what I thought was the most common mistake guys make in everyday social interactions (both with girls and guys). I thought about it for a minute and the first thing that came to mind was… seeking approval. Any guy who feels the need to qualify himself or prove that he is worth a girl’s attention, instantly kills ALL ATTRACTION that a girl feels for him. Seeking approval from a girl is a sign of desperation, the MOST UNATTRACTIVE TRAIT a guy can display. Kill the habit by paying more attention to yourself and working on inner game. Approval seeking behavior includes:
Smiling Too Much
To appear non-threatening. A lot of times you’ll see guys smiling way to much when their either speaking to a guy with a higher status (acknowledging the Alpha Male) or to a really hot girl (to come off non-threatening, but in the end it just shows her that he’s not someone she needs to respect)
Not Maintaining Eye Contact
Because they’re too scared to do so. Looking down is a sign of submission, displaying your inability to meet a challenge
Seeking Attention
There are thousands of complete AFCs out there who act like clowns and make girls laugh on and on because they think it’s getting them closer to getting laid. It’s not. There’s a difference between being funny to seek approval and being funny because YOU WANT to be funny. If you’re one of those guys who constantly feel the need to make those around you laugh, ask yourself why. I always see attention seeking men who make farting noises in movie theatres or just go on and on with their jokes because they want to feel loved. In reality, it just makes you look pathetic.
Apologizing
Never say sorry to make HER feel better. Say sorry if YOU think that YOU made a mistake. There are 3 ways to go about this and only one is right:
- You apologize too often: You’re seeking approval and women won’t respect you, they’ll see you as a pushover.
- You never apologize: Your ego is too big and women will recognize that beneath your macho exterior is actually a guy with a fragile ego.
- You apologize when YOU think you should apologize: what a real man does.
Asking For Permission
Don’t ever. If you want to do anal, just stick it in her ass when she’s not looking. If you want her to follow you, take her hand. Men lead, women follow, that is the natural way of things. If she asks you what to do, don’t reply with “I don’t know” or “it’s up to you”. Reply with a straight answer and tell her what you want to do.
Women will NEVER find a guy that seeks approval attractive. They are subconsciously wired to be attracted to guys who do not seek approval because guys who are WORTH their attention, who are fearless, confident, who would make ideal boyfriends, KNOW that they are attractive and likable so they NEVER seek approval. A guy who feels the need to qualify himself is acting out of his FEAR of rejection. Remember that YOU are the PRIZE. YOU should never feel the need to impress a girl, it should be her job to impress you.
To really work on yourself and reverse approval seeking behavior, you need to work on the game.
