Premature ejaculation (PE) is considered the most common sexual difficulty men experience. Almost every man will, at some point in his life, experience premature ejaculation. But for some men premature ejaculation becomes a problem every time they have sex.
If you’re experiencing PE you should consult a health care provider to rule out any physical causes or larger health issues. But seeing your primary care doctor is just one of many things you can do to address the issue.
There is no known cause of premature ejaculation but there are several things you can do to try and stop premature ejaculation.
Talk
This may seem like a no-brainer, but one of the first things many of us do when we confront a sexual difficulty is stop talking. Premature ejaculation can feel shameful to some men and you might think talking about it will make it worse. It might feel worse at first, but the obvious silence between you can create further pressure and could even cause other problems. If you want to stop premature ejaculation you may need to talk about why you’re having sex, what you want out of it and whether or not you both agree on what defines premature.
Masturbate
That’s right if you want to stop premature ejaculation one of the first pieces of homework I would give you is masturbate. But it’s not about masturbating the ways you always have. Instead make time and space for yourself and use masturbation to learn about your own sexual response. Sex with a partner may come with all sorts of pressures and you may be focusing more on your partner than yourself. Masturbation gives you the chance to focus on how your body feels, what your mind does, and how you may be psyching yourself up for more premature ejaculation.
Learn to Control Ejaculation
Ejaculation is, among other things, a reflex. Most people can learn to control ejaculation just as they learned to control urination. There are a few methods you can use to control premature ejaculation, many of which ask you to learn the subtleties of your sexual response and pace sex in a way that allows you to time ejaculation. The good news is that this homework is mostly fun and that with very few exceptions, men can learn to stop premature ejaculation.
Like most things in a relationship, premature ejaculation doesn’t happen to just one partner. In order to stop premature ejaculation you may need to take a more holistic view regarding who takes responsibility for sexual pleasure in the relationship. Does one person always initiate sex? Is there an expectation that you are responsible for each other’s orgasms, or only your own? Premature ejaculation isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem, and in order to stop premature ejaculation you may need to start doing sexuality differently in your relationship.
Consider Seeing a Counselor or Sex Therapist
There are self-help books that help you stop premature ejaculation and it’s certainly something you can talk to your doctor about. But you may also want to consider seeing a sex therapist or counselor. They receive special training around sexual difficulties and may also be better equipped to talk about premature ejaculation in the larger context of your relationship.
