…Or can it actually enrich a romance?
Jealousy in relationships is kinda like cinnamon on a snickerdoodle: without any, you’ve got no flavor at all; a little taste of it can spice things up; but any more than just a pinch and you might just choke to death.
In tiny doses – say, when you take note of a stranger desperately attempting to hit on your partner to no avail – jealousy can function as a reminder of how desirable your companion truly is.
As long as you’ve built a strong foundation together, tiny flashes of jealousy here and there should be harmless at worst – at best, they can be harnessed to bring a little excitement to the relationship. Hell, some couples even take it further with various kink scenarios, such as in cuckold roleplay.
But hey, fetishes wouldn’t be fetishes if they were for everyone, and most people have a much lower threshold for seeing, hearing, or knowing about their partner flirting with others. Furthermore, if you have trust issues – whether due to your own insecurities, or because of past behaviors demonstrated by your partner that give you reason to doubt his or her fidelity – jealousy can erode a romantic bond, leading to awkwardness, arguments, or worse.
Such problems might occur when your partner frequently exhibits excessive and unsupported signs of jealousy. In this scenario, it’s important that you first carefully examine your interactions with members of the opposite sex. Are you suppressing any feelings or harboring a subconscious crush in public or in private?
Assuming that you are not doing anything to warrant accusations of disloyalty, you can assume that your partner is overreacting out of personal insecurity. You must first address the issue directly by verbally reiterating how committed you are, and your partner must take your commitment at face value. If the problem persists, you are going to have to make a decision as to whether it’s worth staying with that person.
However, you might also be concerned if your partner doesn’t exhibit enough jealousy. Everyone deserves to feel wanted, so if you feel that your companion isn’t showing an appropriate level of interest in you emotionally or physically, you should bring it to his or her attention in a calm, reasonable, loving manner. Ultimately, it might be worrisome if your fiancé doesn’t flinch when you fondle a Macy’s salesperson in the middle of your wedding registry appointment, but in most cases, if you’ve never given him a reason to be concerned about your commitment, why should he be?
Finally, if the crux of the issue is your own, perhaps you get jealous when your partner talks to other guys or girls. While no one wants their own level of commitment to go unreciprocated, remember that there’s a difference between your boyfriend or girlfriend commenting that another person is attractive, and commenting that he or she wants to “ride [that person] like a pony”: the former is a mere statement of opinion, while the latter is a declaration of douchebaggery. You won’t (and shouldn’t) be able to get your partner to stop noticing members of the opposite sex (we’re biologically programmed to do so!) but you do have the right to request that he or she be respectful – or refrain altogether from making such remarks in your presence.
In addressing all of these situations, communication with your partner can only help. It’s also crucial for the success of any relationship. Remember to always relay your needs clearly and promptly, so as not to allow anything to fester. Opening up will encourage your partner to do the same, and such an increased flow of communication will only further establish your common dedication to one another, diluting any hints of jealousy that may have been previously plaguing your interactions.
